Trust as a Lover
by Shari Maxwell
Summary: Jade has found Luke irresistable in many ways, but after his attitude begins to change for the better making the redhead even more appealing... Will Jade be able to hold himself back? Yaoi JadexLuke


Jade had truly been baffled by the extent of Luke's desire to change, even though he had only shown subtle hints on very rare occasions. The teen was no longer selfish or too impulsive about his actions (well, the impulse wasn't only to benefit him...), and he showed compassion for other people. There were no longer constant shouts refusing to take the guilt of what he had done, and he seemed to have realized that he _was_ at fault, but also knew he would do whatever was in his power to make sure there was never another Akzeriuth.

This by itself had made Jade realize this was no longer the old Luke, but a true humane person trying to save everyone in the world. Though it was an impossible ambition to save _every human being_, the intent was so virtuous compared to what he would've thought of this kind of conviction only a little while ago. The old Luke could've cared less for the people of Akzeriuth as they laid there dying, this one felt remorse and even _regret_ for his actions that he had so thoughtlessly allowed Van to manipulate him into doing.

Even now, as Jade was pretending to be reading a book that had been based off of his theories of fomicry, the redhead was talking about what they were going to do about Spinoza going off and spouting all of the plans to 'Master' Van. (Luke never did seem to be able to give up calling Van, Master Van for some reason). His best friend Guy seemed to be reassuring him that Asch would catch Spinoza soon enough, and that no more of their plans would be revealed to the man.

Natalia had already suggested that her, Tear, and Anise would all go look into buying some groceries since some of their meat seemed to have spoiled from not being used. Though Tear was reluctant, Anise had convinced her that they needed some time away from the men. With that final statement, Tear had been dragged off by her other two female companions. This had left Jade, Guy, and Luke to themselves for the evening. Mieu had decided to follow along with the girls as they were leaving, and that had also made Jade laugh a little inside as the small cheagle had always claimed himself to be a boy but he always seemed to follow the girls if he wasn't with Luke.

As Guy and Luke continued to discuss whether they actually had enough money to afford the latest armor and weaponry, the two of them seemed to slowly drift off. It was fairly late in the night, though they girls had also discovered the festival that was happening and wouldn't be returning for a long time. Jade couldn't help but feel that this might be his one chance to do what he needed done. He dog-eared the corner of the page he was on, and then put the book down onto the inn's provided desk. They had ordered two rooms this time, one for the guys and one for the girls, though Jade was against doing what he planned to in the girls' room he had no choice with Guy's presence.

The colonel managed to slip his arms around Luke and carry him out of the room without him or Guy waking, and nobody saw him as he went across the hall with the redhead limp in his arms. This kind of vulnerability only made Jade wish to have this young man all to himself, this kind of desire had been eating at him ever since he had began trusting the redhead again. As beautiful as the crimson hair had been long, nothing could make Jade wish for it to come back if there was ever the chance the old Luke would return along with it. Though he would not mind the hair if it did grow back quickly.

Jade put Luke gently down on one of the beds, and then went to close the door and lock it. He was going to make sure there were _no _interruptions at all, the only person he would really have to worry about was Luke if he was too loud or reluctant. Even so, Jade was somewhat confidant that his hunch about Luke's secret feelings regarding him. There had been signs before of the redhead liking Jade more than a normal friend, but Jade refused to take notice of them at the time because of the teen's selfishness.

Now though was a different story, this new person would always be welcome to love Jade, and the necromancer didn't honestly care how unfair it seemed. _This_ was the sort of young man Jade could fall for, and already had unfortunately, which was making everything even more complicated. If this had been a simple desire of sex, just a lust that would fade away with time Jade could've handled it. But this was the whole deal with him falling hopelessly in love with a replica of a duke's son.

Luke's eyes began to open slowly as he was naturally waking from a dream that had apparently disturbed him. His emerald eyes looked around the room in confusion, but then stopped to rest on Jade as the older man was standing beside his bed. Jade's guess was that Luke was wondering where was Guy and the others, but he had thought up a story in case this were to happen.

"The girls are still out shopping, and Guy went to go check on them. He should be back soon, but I'm not sure how those girls will like being pulled away from the joys of shopping." Jade watched Luke's reaction carefully to determine what the redhead was thinking. "If you're planning on checking on them too, you might as well not waste your time. I trust Guy can handle whatever may happen."

"Yeah..." Luke swung his legs over the edge of the bed to where his feet rested on the ground, and then placed his elbows on top of his knees to let his hands hang loosely. He was hunched over slightly just proving that Luke had indeed had a nightmare of some sort.

"Are you feeling alright Luke?" Jade hadn't planned any sort of dream interpretation session, but it couldn't be helped with the obviously pained look on Luke's face. If it wasn't for that look, Jade wouldn't have even held himself back like this, if it had just been some lust filled desire. "Tell me about your dream."

Luke wasn't surprised by Jade's perception of his thoughts, the man had such a large range of perception that hardly anything was a mystery to him. "It wasn't anything too vivid... but something happened to you guys. And I didn't go and save Guy or Tear... or _you_. I just stood by and watched it all happen as if it wasn't my concern..."

Jade was silent for a few moments, which resulted in Luke looking up into his crimson eyes. The necromancer stood and then sat down beside the younger man, he gave a low chuckle as he subtly slipped an arm around Luke. "I think all that was, was the left over guilt from the Akzeriuth incident. But I know you are no longer that type of person, and we all believe in your eagerness to change."

Luke let out a short laugh himself as he leaned back and fell onto the bed. His arms supported his head as he inspected the ceiling. "I just can't get over the fact that I _killed_ my own friends in my dreams. I know that's all it was, but I've always heard dreams can reflect your greatest desire."

"Dreams are also complicated and can be hard to tell the true meaning from just what happened. You have to look at the signs of your dream, such as they say in falling dreams you feel like your life is out of your control and there's nothing you can hold onto for support." Jade knew this was going to be his opportune moment as Luke was in such an _easy_ position. "Luke, don't dwell on such a fanciful thing as a dream, as it'll just lead you to question your morals too much."

He was poised to strike, but then Luke sat up making the situation complicated again. "Jade, have you ever loved anyone? I mean really _loved _them?"

Jade didn't hesitate as he forced Luke back down on the bed, and pinned his arms above his blood red head. The young man had yelled out as he fell, but now he seemed to be at a loss for words, blushing furiously as he looked into Jade's eyes. "I think the person I originally loved, or thought I had was Professor Nebilim, but she's in my past... But _you_ aren't..."

Luke couldn't seem to make anything comprehensible from his babbling, so Jade helped by silencing him with a fierce kiss. His hair slid from his shoulders to block out everything else giving Luke no choice but to look at him.

"Jade, what are you doing? This is... this is wrong!" He tried to force Jade off of him, but the man had more strength and made him stop. "Why are you doing this?"

"Haven't you ever felt such yearning for something that it was on the brink of making you insane? Haven't you ever felt the longing for something you know you should never even dare to want? I guess you could say that this is what I've been feeling for you recently, but I was never good at learning were to draw the line." Jade gave Luke a suspicious smile as he moved in once again to capture the soft lips he had been wishing for.

They continued their own battle until Luke finally managed to win a moment to where he could answer Jade. "I have... but I have to tell you Jade, _you _were never the one I wanted."

Jade smiled coyly, "I know who you want, but to be honest I don't care at this time. I guess I feel like you're obligated to let me have _something_ after everything you've put the rest of the group and I through."

Luke seemed hesitant, but it those words had triggered something in him that made him finally submit to Jade Curtiss. But the older man released Luke and composed himself as he walked to the door. He unlocked it silently, looking back for only a brief moment to see that the redhead was still lying on the bed most likely unsure of what had happened.

"You may owe me Luke fon Fabre, but I don't want you to just give up. I don't care if you resist the whole time, but I want to see some of that lively personality you often force on us. After all, it's no fun to play with a broken toy, now is it?"

Jade left the room and proceeded down the hall towards the stairs to go find the bar in this town. Luke had finally accomplished his task of sitting up, and started after Jade but his legs felt so weak that he knew he wouldn't be able to catch up.

"I don't like him... right?" The question was directed at no one but himself, since he was the only person there, but he couldn't even come up with an answer to his own question.

He knew that once upon a time he had some feelings for Jade, but he knew these were wrong to feel since they were both guys. So Luke had attempted to throw away these feelings, tried to forget the nights where he couldn't help but stare at the man as he slept. That had been before he had decided to change though, and that's why Luke was afraid to bring out those feelings again. He didn't know if by allowing these emotions to come back from his past that he might end up reverting back to that brat he once was.

----

Jade had found the bar easily as he knew most towns in Malkuth like the back of his hand. This one was no different as he had discovered the bar was hidden in a back ally close to the inn. He had ordered something he had never heard of, in hopes that it might help him get drunk and forget this night. If he couldn't forget tonight, then Jade knew he would never be able to stop himself from letting the same exact thing happen. Then again, if it did it probably wouldn't end up with the results it had tonight.

That was the reason he had always hated being so manipulative with people, though on many occasions it helped greatly, at times like this it was almost impossible to not use them on Luke.

He ended up only a little tipsy before he got tired of listening to the bartender rant on and on about how the Malkuth army would surely win the war. The war wasn't going to be won by Malkuth, and that was because their whole mission was to make sure it was _stopped_. What the bartender said didn't discourage Jade in the least, he just wasn't that type of person, but it sure pissed him off. After all the effort all of his comrades had put into attaining peace, the people were still excited of war.

He threw some money onto the counter and left the bar around 3 AM, and as he kept his usual appearance of perfection but he knew a couple of times he had stumbled. He had drank quite a bit that night, and the memory of earlier was already a little hazy, but after going to sleep it would all come back to haunt him in the morning. Something he didn't want to happen, but there was no choice as he entered the inn.

As the necromancer climbed the stairs (that seemed a lot steeper than usual), he wondered if the girls had finally returned. When he reached the hall with their rooms, he checked the door to the girl's room, and found that it was locked meaning they were back. He then went into his room, and locked the door as more of a habit than safety precaution.

Luke and Guy were in a dead sleep when he observed the two of them, but Luke hadn't probably fallen asleep until an about an hour ago. Jade could tell Luke had not reached the level of sleep referred to as the REM stage. And it would be effortless to wake the redhead up and continue what he had started earlier that evening, but the regret of what he had done didn't allow him to do such a cruel thing.

But Luke began to wake up himself, Jade had managed to slip into his own bed hoping the teen would believe that he was already in a deep sleep. It was a slim chance, and Jade knew that Luke actually believing something so obviously untrue would be even more of a slim chance. As expected, the redhead glanced over at Jade's bed and when he noticed someone was in it, he went to it.

"Jade, we need to talk."

"Isn't that the kind of thing couples say when one is about to dump the other?" Jade rolled over, but he was not smirking or showing any amusement in his question.

Luke couldn't decide to sit on the bed or pull Jade out and force him to leave the room. Luke decided it would be safer if the two of them talked somewhere away from Guy, as he wasn't a very heavy-sleeper. Jade didn't seem very reluctant, instead he seemed a little sluggish compared to his usual self, and that's when it hit the redhead that Jade was actually _drunk_. He couldn't honestly believe it since he had learned once a while back that Jade had an incredibly high alcohol tolerance level.

"I wish it could wait... but even if you are incoherent you're still Jade under there and I know you'll understand me." Luke grabbed the man's pale wrist, and it took a lot more effort than he had expected to get the man out of the room without waking Guy. "Maybe I was wrong about Guy being a light sleeper... especially if none of this has woken him up by now."

"He's having one of those rare moments of security, ever since the war started it's very rare for any of us to have that kind of moment." Jade held his head as he felt a huge headache coming from his drinking, but the look of concern Luke was giving him made him start acting as if nothing was wrong again. "You don't have to worry about my drinking habits Luke."

"I'm not really worried about your future habits, but I want to know why you _forced_ yourself to drink to the point of intoxication. I know you have a high alcohol tolerance level and it would take a lot more than your usual drink or two." Luke knew Jade would try and find some way to avoid this type of interrogation, but to his surprise the older man really didn't.

"Truth is I drank a lot more than I should've, and my hangover tomorrow will tell me that, but the reason I did it was to forget tonight. If I remember what happened earlier tomorrow evening, then I'll end up trying it again and end up with the same results. It's just something I'd rather forget all of it, and hope that maybe these ambitions of making you mine will disappear."

Luke didn't say anything, he just grabbed the colonel's hand and led him down the hall and into another empty room. He had tipped one of the workers at that inn so that he would leave this room open especially for the two of them. Locking the door after they were both in the room, Luke faced Jade once again to find the older man already cornering him.

"You know whatever ends up happening tonight is no one's fault but your own?" The expression on Jade's features were what made Luke hesitate at first. But the redhead agreed silently by nodding and didn't resist as they went through the same first steps they had earlier.

It started with a few hesitantly returned kisses on Luke's part, and it didn't take long for it to go much farther than Luke had expected. Jade had planned on it though, and Luke knew he could trust the older man as a companion, and now apparently as a lover.

----

**This is my first Tales of the Abyss fic, so I want to hear what ya'll think! Whether you think it was a piece of crap or thought it was good, either way I'd love to hear!**

**So please R & R!**

**Shari Maxwell**


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